Hard Truth About Soft
Mood:  a-ok
Dear Brother Agitator,

A few weeks ago, Br. Eduard the Agitator, asked the question in context to Black History Month: “why do white people hate black people?” There was lots of suggestions from the Monday morning breakfast circle, and all gave insight to the question asked. However, Br. Eduard the Agitator gave another suggestion with the word, “comfort”. This word resonated deep within my soul and lead and me down another path of reflection. Below is an email to Br. Eduard on my contemplation of his suggestion. However, before you read the email you need to know a little of me and my history.

I am a lay brother with the Brotherhood of Saint Gregory that is religious community of the Episcopal Church. Not only am I a lay brother, I am also a homosexual: a gay man who follows Christ. I have been told most of my life that I cannot be both a Christian and a homosexual. I no longer accept that voice as the voice of Christ who invites all to the table to break bread and to share the common cup. Those who believe in that theology of exclusion need to work out their own issues and not project and lay it at my feet. All I can do is sojourn with them…that is if they allow me to journey with them.

Let me also share some of memories and experiences. I knew from a very young age that I was different, but I didn’t know why or what made me different. It was not until I was older that the word, homosexual, was the “why” and “what” that made me different. I though I was normal, just like everyone else with likes and dislikes. But I soon learned how much people hated those who differed from them, and for reasons that made no sense.

Twice in my life I was assaulted for being gay. Those assaults happened while I was in high school. Those years were years I dreaded and hated because I never knew from one moment to the next if I would be mocked, laughed at or beaten up.  When I graduated from high school was a great day of liberation for me and I have never looked back at those days as golden or to be remembered. Many years after graduation I received an announcement of my class reunion. I ignored the invitation and filed it with the trash. Soon after I received a call from a member of the reunion committee who called to see if I was going to attend because I did not send back the invitation. I recognized her voice as one of my tormentors throughout high school. I told her that I would not be attending, however, she wanted to know why I didn’t want to see my classmates. I reminded her that my four years of high school were years of torment and that I feared going to school on a daily basis; and I reminded her as well that she was one of those who mocked me on a regular basis. She then said that was so long ago and that things are different. What she did not offer was an apology for her actions. I then told her that I forgave her of her past sins against me, but I have no desire to relive the darkest four years of my life. I then told her that I would never attend a class reunion and to take me off all future mailings.

To add insult to injury, after graduation from high school, I attended Moody Bible Institute in Chicago and Colorado Christian University. Both of these institutions were bastions of fundamentalism where people like me were considered abominations. I thought that if I genuinely experienced the love of God I would change. So I continued my education in self-hatred for four years all the while thinking that God’s love was elusive and exclusive. After all, that was what I hearing since the word “homosexual” applied to me.

During my second year at Moody Bible Institute thoughts of suicide entered my mind and one day I walked out to the Lake Michigan. It was a winter storm and the waves were pounding the surf and pouring over the peers. I slowly walked out on the peer hoping that a wave would catch me and sweep me away. I couldn’t swim and the bitter cold water would end my misery. I was crying as I walked further out on the peer, and I know that this will sound ridiculous and unbelievable, but I audibly heard, “God made you as you are and loves you as you are.” I turned and all I could see is the city skyline and waves…nobody was on the beach. I grabbed hold of the railing and let out all my self-hatred to the storm and to God. That experience was just the beginning of letting go my own internalized homophobia.

Coming to terms with my sexual orientation was not easy, but it a journey that I would now never trade. This journey has taught me much about people: the good, the bad and the very ugly. It has taught me much about myself. This journey has also given me glimpse of being marginalized and hated and what that does to a person and their self image and esteem. This journey has also led me to Jim, my partner for over 17 years, in which I have continued to learn what love is all about.

With that in mind God has lead me to the Open Door Community where I help serve the community and our friends who come through the doors. One strength of the ODC is the hospitality they offer to all who enter in and they do so without judgment and that alone creates a safe haven for those who have been beaten up (literally and metaphorically) by the world.

Last Monday at the breakfast circle you gave me much to think about, but when you said that "comfort", that is personal comfort, keeps people separated and keeps the walls of racism built up. When you said that another line of thinking entered my mind. All too often the religious right has used the Greek  word, "malakos", as a way to build up wall against homosexuals, bisexuals and transgendered people and excluding them from breaking bread at table.

 The Greek word, "malakos", as you probably well know literally means, "soft". Even though it literally means "soft", the biblical scholars have reinterpreted this particular Greek word to use religion as a way to justify their prejudices and bigotries.

Below is a list of how "malakos" is mistranslated:

Effeminate (KJV)
Male Prostitutes (NIV)
Homosexuals (Living Bible)
Abusers (Interlinear Bible)
Sexual Perverts (Revised)
Effeminate (J.B. Phillips)
Those who participate in homosexuality (Amplified)
Homosexual perversion (New English Bible)
Homosexuals (New KJV)
Effeminate (New American Standard Bible)
Sensualists (Barclay)
Homosexual perverts (Good News)
Effeminate (St Joseph Catholic Edition)

The two verses where “malakos” is used in 1 Corinthians 6:9 and 1 Timothy 1:10.

 1 Corinthians 6:9 (Contemporary English Version): “Don't you know that evil people won't have a share in the blessings of God's kingdom? Don't fool yourselves! No one who is immoral or worships idols or is unfaithful in marriage or is a pervert or behaves like a homosexual.”
1 Timothy 1:10 (Contemporary English Version): “The Law was written for people who are sexual perverts or who live as homosexuals or are kidnappers or liars or won't tell the truth in court. It is for anything else that opposes the correct teaching.”

From these two passages an arsenal of hatred is launched against homosexuals, bisexuals and transgendered people by a people who claim to follow the Prince of Peace and the One who said, “love your enemy.” These self-acclaimed followers of Jesus have developed the belief that GLTBQO (Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered, Bisexual, Queer, Other) individuals are: immoral, perverts, idol worshippers (and some of these self-acclaimed followers of Christ say that GLTBQO individuals worship the sexual parts of the body as a form of idol worship), unable to tell the truth, kidnappers and pedophiles, and incapable of knowing spiritual truths.

I can understand why many hold this view because it touches and feeds into many societal fears, because a good and healthy society would reflect the opposite of that list we read in those to passages. Plus, for those who believe the rhetoric that these self-acclaimed Christians promote, there is a face to this so-called problem: the homosexual. When there is a “face” to all the problems in society, then the rationale for laws to be passed and violent actions against such individuals are found because of the objectification self-acclaimed followers of Jesus indoctrinate society.

If, however, we applied the literal meaning of the word that is translated as the word homosexual, then these two passages cannot be used against others. If the word, soft, is used instead, then these two passages begs the questions: “soft what?” I do believe that the Barclay translation of scripture is getting close to the spirit of what Paul is trying to say by using the word, “sensualists.”

So what is a sensualist? The dictionary defines a sensualist as, “a person given to the indulgence of the senses or appetites.” This definition implies sexual indulgences, but is not limited to sexuality nor is it limited to GLTBQO individuals, but includes heterosexuals as well into the biblical texts.
This is probably a personal preference, but I believe Jesus, that radical and crazy man, gave us an idea of “soft”.

In Matthew 11 and in Luke 7 we read were Jesus was talking to people about John the Baptizer. John has just been imprisoned and he sends his disciples out to find more about this Jesus and what he is doing. John’s disciples want to know if Jesus is the Christ and Jesus responds by, "Go and tell John what you have seen and heard: the blind receive their sight, the lame walk, lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear the dead are raised up, the poor have good news preached to them.” (Luke 11:22 ESV).

Jesus, the one who comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable, tells John’s disciples that those who are marginalized and partitioned away from polite society…or acceptable society…and from institutionalized religion: there the good news of the Kingdom of God is actualized.

Then Jesus ask the crowed concerning John the Baptizer, "What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind? What then did you go out to see? A man dressed in soft clothing? Behold, those who are dressed in splendid clothing and live in luxury are in kings’ courts. (Luke: 11:22-23 ESV). We read these words of Jesus in both Matthew’s and Luke’s gospel narratives.

Here the word “soft” is used. Even though it is not the Greek word, “malakos”, we get an insight what Jesus understood. Jesus is saying to the crowds that John the baptizer is the polar opposite of those in position of power. That those in positions of power, position and wealth are the sensualists who indulge in the debauchery of luxury and comfort (going back to your word, Br. Agitator).

There is a sharp contrast of people in these two gospel narratives. We have the poor, blind, lame, sick – in other words the outcasts and disposables of society…the untouchables; and then we have those dressed in the newest fashions and living in luxury and exclusion. Even though it does not state it here in this passage, history teaches us time and again that the lives of the privileged is at the expense of the working class and the poor.

Yet Jesus in a great insight continues to comfort the disturbed and to disturb the comfortable. The text in Luke’s gospel continues,  “When all the people heard this, and the tax collectors too (another group of people condemned and ostracized), they declared God just, having been baptized with the baptism of John, but the Pharisees and the lawyers rejected the purpose of God for themselves, not having been baptized by him.) (Luke 11:20-30).

The conservative religious leaders, as well as those making the laws, did not like what they were hearing because it was a treat against their comfortable way of life: their lives of privilege and power, their lives in which they could legally continue the abuse and then find the religious rationalization to continue their assault on others in order to live their lives of comfort.

Now going back full circle…this continues today with the assault from lawyers (government…elected officials or those running for public office) and the Pharisees (the religious leaders regardless of their sectarian affiliations) on the marginalized which now includes the GLTBQO community…those marked as outsiders. But it seems that Jesus isn’t condemning such individuals but just the opposite. That within the GLTBQO (and Br. Agitator, I consider you and those at The Open Door Community and other communities and individuals who are outsiders fitting into the GLTBQO community) the Kingdom of God is actualized and made manifest. The warning of Jesus is against those who use their position of wealth and power to continue their oppression against the GLTBQO community in order to live their lives of comfort.

You have given me much to think about this Lenten season.

Thank you!
Br. Aelred

The Murder of Maria Delores Amaya Carlos

Foot Washing at The Open Door Community: Atlanta, GA

Foot Washing at The Open Door Community

 

 

Br. Eduard the Agitator asked me to lead this morning’s foot washing. He even pointed in scripture in John’s gospel a three-point homily. I considered his suggestion, but after reading the text time and again, I felt I needed to lay aside those three points and share with you that which resonates with me.

 

At the last supper all too often the celebration of the Eucharist, as the central sacrament of the Church, is held above the other sacrament Jesus gave the disciples…the followers of the Holy One…and that is of foot washing. For contemporary Christians this rite is limited to one day of the year on Maundy Thursday of Holy Week, and this practice has become ceremonial and troublesome because it’s embarrassing and draws attention.

 

Thank God that this water of foot washing is troublesome because what it does for you and me!

 

After reading John 13 over and over, in trying to hear what the Spirit is saying even this morning was difficult. I had to silent the voices of interpretation to this scripture and allow this passage to sink into my soul. God was gracious as I was in retreat at the Convent of St. Helena’s in Augusta, GA where I entered into the Grand Silence and began to listen to the Spirit as she breathed new life into the text.

 

Part of what the Spirit was teaching me comes from my understanding and embrace of monasticism as a way of life or a rule of life. Saint Benedict in his particular rule of life for monks said, “keep death ever before one’s eye.” We all begin to dance with death the moment we are born, and to keep death on our minds is not a morbid act of self-abasement and denial, but an invitation enter into the joy of life that is right in front of us.

 

This what is going on with Jesus. Jesus knew his time has come and he was filled with love: not fear, not resentment, not despair; but love. Jesus knew that he came from the Creator who called all things goods…and very good; and that Jesus was returning to the One who is Love and wanted to give the disciples a very practical expression of what that love looks like…and it wasn’t the celebration of the Eucharist…it was washing the feet of those gathered around table serving and eating hot grits, boiled eggs, bread, peanut butter and jelly and drinking apple juice and “regular” coffee (for those who aren’t New Yorkers…regular coffee is coffee served with milk and sugar).

 

In the living room there is an abstract picture with the question, “If you live alone, whose feet will you wash?” Saint Basil, the author of that quote and another monastic and bishop of the early church, understood not only what hospitality looked like, but what an interdependent community looked like as the beloved community...the realization of the realm of God’s reign on earth as it is in heaven. This simple act of washing feet, in St. Basil’s mind, was the great equalizer: I need you…you need me…we need each other to wash each others’ feet. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from…but what matters is that I love you and that love is an action.

 

For me the Anglo-Catholic, the image of water is a reminder of my baptism and my baptismal vows. I want to share with you what those vows are and they are in the form of question and answer:

 

Celebrant: Will you continue in the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in the prayers?

Answer: I will, with God’s help.

 

Celebrant: Will you persevere in resisting evil, and whenever you fall into sin, repent and return to the Lord?

Answer: I will, with God’s help.

 

Celebrant: Will you proclaim by word and example the Good News of God in Christ?

Answer: I will, with God’s help.

 

Celebrant: Will you seek and serve Christ in all persons, loving your neighbor as yourself?

Answer: I will, with God’s help

 

Celebrant: Will you strive for justice and peace among all people, and respect the dignity of every human being?

Answer: I will, with God’s help.

 

My entire baptismal covenant is living into that ancient prayer of our Jewish brothers and sisters which is also found in the summary of the Law and Prophets taught by Jesus: Love God…love your neighbor. I cannot choose between the two thinking that loving God is better than loving people. God in infinite wisdom reminds me: the same manner I love my neighbor, or better yet…the one I perceive as my enemy or how I respond to a person who annoys while I’m behind the wheel, is exactly how I love God…and that is a hard pill to swallow which I often have to swallow again, and again, and again.

 

In this simple act of washing each others’ feet, let us serve Christ in one another. Let this simple act of washing feet be the seed of justice and peace between you and me that grows into the beloved community of God.

 

I said in the beginning, “Thank God that this water of foot washing is troublesome because what it does to and for us…and blessed, oh how blessed are all of us who continue this example of love, hospitality, service, peace and justice for one another.

 

So I’m going to invite you to, as a spiritual reminds me to, “Wade in the water. 
Wade in the water, children,
Wade in the water,
God's a-going to trouble the water.”

Rewriting Isaiah 1:13-17 in Context of the Church
Mood:  quizzical
Isaiah 1: 13-17
Quit your worship charades. I can't stand your trivial religious games:?monthly conferences, weekly Sabbaths, special meetings—meetings, meetings, meetings—I can't stand one more!?Meetings for this, meetings for that. I hate them! You've worn me out!?I'm sick of your religion, religion, religion, while you go right on sinning.?When you put on your next prayer-performance, I'll be looking the other way.?No matter how long or loud or often you pray, I'll not be listening.?And do you know why? Because you've been tearing people to pieces, and your hands are bloody. go home and wash up. Clean up your act.?Sweep your lives clean of your evildoings so I don't have to look at them any longer.?Say no to wrong. Learn to do good.?Work for justice. Help the down-and-out.?Stand up for the homeless. Go to bat for the defenseless.
Revised for the Christian Churches:
Quit your liturgical charades. I can’t stand your trivial religious services, weekly meetings, prayer services…I cannot stand them anymore. I’m bored with your activities that are self-serving while forgetting the poor, homeless and needy who walk the streets. Next time you pray during your self-serving prayer groups, I will turn my back to you and not listen as you are only offering words to yourself to feel good about yourselves. How can you call yourself my people when you don’t do the acts of mercy I require of you? Who do you think you are? You go about with all your god-talk while your actions deny my existence. When your actions actually reflect my good, then your god-talk might mean something. Get up and do something: work for justice for all people especially for my gay, lesbian, and transgendered children; meet the needs of the poor and homeless, comfort the mentally ill, and fight for the rights of the poor, marginalized, homeless and illegal immigrants above the wants of the rich, powerful and national interests. When you work towards those ends then you have earned the right in your god-talk.

Sermon: St. Francis of Assisi Episcopal Church, Oolteway, TN
“Let the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, our strength and redeemer.”

Alleluia, the Lord is risen.
The Lord is risen indeed, alleluia.

First of all I want to express my gratitude for your extraordinary hospitality you extended to us Gregorians and associates. In the cabin I noticed a sign that said that good food and fellowship made-up the 8th sacrament and I want to thank you for making our stay with you “sacramental”.

There is a saying within the brotherhood that everyone who comes into the Brotherhood changes the community. Even though you are not joining the Brotherhood of Saint Gregory: your hospitality has changed each of us and those changes will resonate through our community thereby forever changing us.

Also, I want to share with you that the Council of the Brotherhood of Saint Gregory interviewed Bo Armstrong last weekend as his first step in discerning his call to Religious Orders within our community. It is my joy and pleasure to announce that Bo has been accepted as a postulant-perspective which means he will join the Brothers this summer at Annual Convocation and General Chapter where he will get to know us and we him, and decide if the Brotherhood of Saint Gregory is the religious community for him. Please continue to pray for Bo in his discernment.

I also ask for your indulgence if I gloss over the scripture lessons today as I would like to focus on the events this past Monday of the tragic events at Virginia Tech; news that leaves us shocked and looking for answers as we try to make sense of the massacre. Questions like: Why did this happen? How could this have happen? Could it have been prevented? Echo through our minds and what little pieces we can fit together in trying to make sense of the events are not the balm that is needed to comfort our souls.

I cannot even imagine what the parents, family members, faculty, staff and fellow classmates are going through right now. The pain of loosing a loved one in their prime, of dreams now snuffed out and never to be realized, of relationships shattered and destroyed and the fears of the future for students who carry with them the senseless death of their classmates.

I look at a world torn, divided and wounded and question where is God for those whose lives are destroyed by the violence of war, injustice, oppression and hunger; and at times I cannot make sense of what is going on, but the good news is that I do not have to make sense out of this madness; but I an called to participate in God’s continued redeeming acts to turn violence into compassion, to work for justice, to wage peace and to join with those who are broken…to cry with those who cry. These are the very acts of mercy that restores wholeness to communities that are broken, that say even in death life continues and that redemption and resurrection are always happening everywhere around us because God is in control and leading us through the valley of the shadow of death.

As a person of faith, and as a Christian in particular, there is always the belief that life triumphs over death, that resurrection; even in the midst of our confusion, takes place…death no longer has victory but death is swallowed up in life, the resurrected life of Christ who calls us each by name into the Beloved Community as we share our common lives together.

I asked the question earlier: where is God in such events? Theologians and philosophers more qualified than I have tried to answer this question throughout history. My simple answer pales to their deliberations because I find God right in the middle of the chaos and confusion, and for me this is cruxifiction realized. Jesus Christ, the eternal Son of God, became as one of us…to share our common life together…to redeem humanity and to bring us into the Beloved Community; yet he was a victim of injustice and we murdered the Lord of Life. He knew first hand the pain of violence and Jesus is found right in the middle of those who suffer and are in pain.

Also, I believe with all my body, mind and spirit that Jesus is manifested by those who reach out in compassion to those who suffer, not only at Virginia Tech, but around the world. As a Christian this is a call to participate in the incarnation story by joining those who suffer in body, mind or spirit; to journey with them and to hear their stories: this is loving God and loving our neighbor.

Yet this is not the end of the story…this is not the end of our story. Jesus bore the sting of the grave and conquered once and for all death. Even the senseless death of the cruxifiction, resurrection and new life takes place. Even in the senseless deaths at Virginia Tech, or those who are victims of hunger, war, injustice and oppression…we will see resurrection and new life take place. It is hard for us to see them as our hearts are weighed down in sorrow and grief; but we have a God who loves us more than we can imagine, who wipes away our tears and welcomes us home.

Thanks be to God that death is not the end of the story, but as Christians we have the Lord of Life.

I would like to quote from I Corinthians chapter 15 from The Message translation of Holy Scripture…it’s an earthy translation that gets to the heart of the meaning behind the words:

“Whose got the last word, oh, Death
Oh, Death, who's afraid of you now?

“It was sin that made death so frightening and law-code guilt that gave sin its leverage, its destructive power. But now in a single victorious stroke of Life, all three—sin, guilt, death—are gone, the gift of our Master, Jesus Christ. Thank God!

“With all this going for us, my dear, dear friends, stand your ground. And don't hold back. Throw yourselves into the work of the Master, confident that nothing you do for him is a waste of time or effort.”

I will close with the following quote from, The Substance of Faith.

“The good news of the resurrection of Jesus is not we shal die and go home with him, but that he has risen and comes home with us, bringing all his hungry, naked, thirsty, sick prison brothers [and sisters] with him. The proof that God raised Jesus from the dead is not the empty tomb, but the full hearts of his transformed disciples. The crowning evidence that he lives is not a vacant grave, but a spirit-filled fellowship. Not a rolled-away stone, but a carried-away church.”

That is my charge for us today, that we become that spirit-filled fellowship…that carried-away church, as we seek and serve God in all people.

Alleluia, the Lord is risen.
The Lord is risen indeed, alleluia.

A Sermon by: Br. Aelred Bernard Dean, BSG
3rd Sunday of Easter
Saint Francis of Assisi Epistle Church, Ooltewah, TN